


Sensations of a Warm Touch

by Lunan95



Series: TMA Hurt/Comfort Week [2]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: (it's offscreen), (kinda), (kinda?), Ambiguous Disorder (implied), Autistic Peter Lukas, Denial of Feelings, Forbidden Love, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, May/December Relationship, Reincarnation, Sensory Deprivation, Touch-Starved, Touching, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:20:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26143258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunan95/pseuds/Lunan95
Summary: Day 4 of the Magnus Archives Hurt/Comfort WeekPrompt: Touch-starved----Peter Lukas is a Lonely man. This means he's never known the physical nor sensorary feel of a touch, other than himself.The little he knew, he was very touch-starved and at his first experience with a real physical touch from another...it feels so good and intoxicating for him that he'll want to keep his quirky, coy and amusing assistant.Who happens to be the reincarnation of Barnabas Bennett.
Relationships: Barnabas Bennett/Mordechai Lukas (past), Peter Lukas/Colton Rantanen
Series: TMA Hurt/Comfort Week [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898428
Kudos: 11





	Sensations of a Warm Touch

Peter can’t recall the first time he’s ever touched anyone. Or if anyone touched him first.

When you are Lonely, very little matters.

He’s always relished in his own loneliness, how he loved when it was only him standing there and minding his own business. Could he perhaps remember warmth at all? 

Other than his thick, wool coat? Not really, he’s never known the warm touch of another human being. Never held hands with anyone, not even shaking hands in terms of business or sheer politeness.

Hugs or embraces were of course unthinkable. He was a Lukas to the core; a simple touch would mean connection with other people and that was something a true Lukas avoided at any cost.

They were of the Lonely, from the moment they were born and so they shall die, alone.

Peter’s life was always entirely in tune of the misty fogs and the sights of endless oceans, it was marvelous to feel so alone out in the seas.

* * *

Elias’ acquaintance had been somewhat of a surprise, 

Well, technically that wasn’t his actual name and he wasn’t Elias when they met. Back then, he carried on the identity of James Wright.

But his original name was Jonah Magnus, now that had been a surprise. Curiosity suddenly rose in Peter, he wanted to find out exactly what kind of person Jonah was. 

Jonah Magnus, who knew his great-grandfather Mordechai Lukas in person. The very one who funded his Institute and began a centuries long alliance between the Eye and the Lonely.

He was well-spoken with that silver tongue of his and Jonah always seemed to have the upper hand of everyone. Everyone in his little Institute believed in him and were none the wiser of the “new” Head. Almost everyone.

As he became Elias Bouchard, he stumbled on a pesky little problem named Gertrude Robinson.

Peter didn’t care about that, it was beyond anything of his business. All he focused on now was his new role in life; as an Avatar of the Lonely, he took great pleasure in finding hapless victims to sacrifice to his patron and serve his purpose.

Then Gertrude Robinson came along and ruined his plans.

Attempting the Lonely’s ritual had been his important task; a mission which was an honor to have as a Lukas. He shoved it down in front of the relatives he could barely remember the faces of, but he was swelling of pride on the inside.

He was going to have the honor to make the ritual. Him, Peter Lukas. A direct descendant of Mordechai Lukas himself.

Oh, it was wonderful and lovely how he had planned and gone through it! Peter poured out all his loyal dedication and passion into the project. A tower block of apartments, never big enough for more than one person and so far apart from anyone and each other.

Gertrude didn’t even have the decency to kill him, which usually solved her problems. No, she tipped off the newspaper and he wanted to _die_. 

For the first time in his life, he was swarmed by newspapers...reporters and what else...Peted hated all of this and he wanted to disappear forever, never resurface and he wanted to be alone.

Peter learnt that Gertrude probably found it more amusing to torment him rather than to kill him.

And as soon everything settled, he fled back to the Tundra and in the safety of his lonely cabin.

* * *

Then something happened that was never meant to happen.

He met Colton Rantanen.

He was a young man in his early thirties. His skin was pale as snow, contrast to his dark curls as hair and his eyes were so painfully blue.

Another contrast and to Elias’ eyes, which happen to be golden green.

But he was more...different than Peter originally counted with. One of his original crew members had been forced to remain on land because of a complication in health. So one slot opened for a temporary seaman.

And that was filled by Mr. Rantanen.

He wasn’t like the others. He didn’t connect with the crew, despite a younger sailor’s desperate attempts. No, it seems like Rantanen relished in his solitude and whenever he wasn’t working...he always gazed over the ocean and smoked a simple cigarette.

Could it be true? This wasn’t a figment of imagination then? Could it truly exist someone so in tune with Peter’s own lonely soul?

The strange little thing that seemed to be missing from him, like a spinning wheel in a mechanism that was needed to work properly.

No.

This wasn’t love, this couldn’t be companionship. He didn’t need anyone! Peter threw himself into denial, he didn’t care what happened to Colton Rantanen.

He refused to believe that he was missing a companion piece to his soul. He was Alone, he was a Lukas.

Then Elias came with an interesting phone call, asking if he’s met his old friend Barnabas Bennett yet. 

Peter had frowned. Isn’t Barnabas Bennett dead, the first victim of a Lukas? Not only that, it seemed like he had a...ah, slight history with his great-grandfather Mordechai. A fool to love a Forsaken man and trust a Watcher to save him.

But that was centuries ago, why would he meet a dead man?

Then Elias said something that made his head spin.

Barnabas Bennett was alive, reincarnated as a second chance. And he carried on the name Colton Rantanen, sans memories.

Peter, long after the call ended, reconsidered his options. He had originally set to feed his patron a hapless young sailor, who desperately tried to instigate chats with his fellows. 

On the other hand...could Colton Rantanen, formerly Barnabas Bennett, face the Lonely again?

It was a difficult decision, but he decided...for the latter.

Barnabas Bennett was back alive and must face his fears.

* * *

He lived. And he had gotten his memories back, from his past as Barnabas Bennett.

Peter couldn’t decide if that was disappointment or relief. Something felt odd. But the way Colton’s face scrunched up into a displeased expression and his blue eyes flashed of irritation…

It was like teasing a bunny with a carrot and Peter found it so amusing.

He'd like to keep him around.

* * *

The first time Peter felt the touch of someone else…

He couldn’t describe it.

The sensation of warmth and the texture of another human’s skin against his own, it was smooth and soft. He could nearly feel the beating pulse under the other man’s skin.

Peter felt like his lungs been knocked out from air and he accidentally let out a noise he’ll later be embarrassed over.

“Do I startle you, captain?” Colton asked coyly.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Peter shot back, unamused over how his new personal assistant could tease him like this. “Please let go of my hand.”

“What will you do if I don’t? Fire me? That’s impossible now, when I wrote my name on the contract. A contract between a Lukas and another is unbreakable.”

“Colton Rantanen, _ please let go of my hand _ !” Peter grew desperate, he can’t...he can’t have this! It’s too tempting, to keep holding his hand and for the love of his life, please never let go!

Colton fixed him with a pair of confused, blue eyes. “I...am letting go. You’re holding on tight.”

It was true as Peter looked down, finding his own hand tightly holding Colton’s. Fingers interlaced together, to feel the beat of a conjoined pulse between their skins.

His assistant made something happen! His heart seemed to pick up a pace and kept beating, faster than it had ever done before. His throat felt dry as sandpaper, it was harder to get out the words.

If he didn’t want Colton to go or leave...what did he want?

Peter sought for the answers, asking himself why didn’t he want to let go of Colton?

He wanted him. Peter _ needed _ him!

He must stay by his side, his head felt clearer and it was intoxicating to just feel Colton’s skin under the tip of his fingers. He needed more of that sensation, skin to skin. It was like a deep, primal desire that woke up in him.

Peter wanted and needed this connection.

Suddenly he felt a little rebellious. It was a dangerous game he was playing now, his family would cast him out within seconds if they knew.

But they don’t know. They weren’t of the Eye, it would be impossible for them to ever know this.

This was behind closed doors, no one to see them and Colton had a strange immunity to Elias’ prying Gaze.

Peter finally reached the limit of his patience and crashed his lips against Colton’s, desperate.

Oh...oh. It was so good. It felt so good. Colton didn’t seem to mind. At first surprise, but then he melted into the kiss and before Peter knew it, he was kissing his assistant...rather passionately.

He relished in the feelings of touch, warmth and now, taste. His hands were cupping Colton’s pale cheeks, now scarlet by blushing and he could feel the heat in them. Oh, he tasted sweet and divinely...he clearly favored the more fruity kinds of gum.

His lips were so soft and pink, slightly parted to give him entrance. Colton’s blue eyes were dazed by the sudden passion, melting under his touch.

They finally parted, urgently for fresh oxygen. “Peter…” Colton mumbled, still flustered over the kiss. 

“Stay with me.” Peter mumbled and pressed a kiss against Colton’s wrist. The sensation of touching his skin...he couldn’t live without it now. 

No one had to know.

This could be his secret.

He knew that now he was a traitor.

But he also realized as long his assistant was by his side...everything felt so possible to do. But he still wanted some solitude. But that must be after he’s had more of that touch, to feel more of Colton.

“I know you are a Lonely man, Peter.” Colton said that night, when they were stripped bare of their clothes and resting in bed after a more...explicit activity. “But...do you know the difference between solitude and loneliness?”

Something went still in Peter’s mind. There was a difference between those? Weren’t solitude and loneliness practically the same thing?

“Tell me.”

“Loneliness is an unpleasant emotional response to isolation. A social pain, if you’d like.” Colton started and then began to smile. “Solitude, on the other hand...is the state of being or living alone. Some even thrive positively on it. And I’m willing to give you plenty of solitude if you need it.”

That was when Peter suddenly found his answer, on everything. “I think I would rather want to be solitude...with you.” He mumbled as they drifted to sleep, letting their hands make contact which always electrified his nerves from now on.

**Author's Note:**

> I am SEVERAL days behind on the TMA Hurt/Comfort week, organized by the Magnus Writers! 
> 
> Currently, I'm struggling to get this and three more oneshots up before I can start on tomorrow's prompt. So please bear with me. 
> 
> and yeah, it's kinda implied that Peter actually have a disorder. Not a bad thing and he's...just a really weird guy. This is actually companion to my fic _Led by the Tide_ which is currently on a short hiatus because of the TMA H/C week.
> 
> But never fear, I'll fix it back up sometime next week or so.
> 
> Anyways, I hope y'all enjoyed this and more to come!


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